The Sweetness of Sweeties

The Vermont Country Store catalogue arrived the other day and with it the opportunity to buy British sweeties, or candies as they are known in the United States of America. Mouthwatering as I stare at the page, memories of childhood flood over me.

From age five to eleven my sister and I walked every day up the hill to the local school. Along the way was the sweetie shop where we spent precious pennies on delicious treats. Funds were limited so the choice was extremely important. We learned quickly to be very careful that what we chose was what we really desired. Sometimes it was an ounce or two of dolly babies or cherry lips or we might go for the teeth coloring licorice formed into sticks or twirls or pipes.

At home we had a sweetie box and a biscuit (cookie) box. There was no free access to these goodies and we had to ask a parent for permission to open those special containers. We did not choose friviously or impulsively for, as with pennies for the sweetie store, the number of treats was strictly limited.

My grandmother also had a sweetie shop in a village about two miles from my parents' house. It was corner store, literally, and like the sweetie store by the school, large glass containers adorned the shelves with an amazing variety of sweets from which to choose.

In the western world, many live with a great deal of abundance where making careful choices has lost its importance. It is sad to see children having so many toys that they cannot decide what to choose and instead move impulsively from one activity to another, not having the one precious favorite that can help them settle into focused enjoyment.

Having choices has many benefits and yet so often we do not know what we deeply desire. That is a question that we might learn to live with more, for the answer to the question comes not just from carefully considerating the alternatives as we did with the sweeties as a child. When we live with the question, not trying to force an answer, then we can be suprised at what emerges with time, sometimes even new "perfect" options that we might not have thought about consciously at all.

But also remember that maybe there are no right or wrong choices and whatever we choose can be an experiment that we are just "trying on for size". If we don't like it we try again, without criticizing ourselves, and see if it is a better fit. Trial and error is another way to learn what we deeply desire.   

MY PLACE

There is a place

A core of our existance

Where personal experiences register

And decisions of self are made

In this private space

Thoughts and feelings vibrate

Mirroring our condition and

Urging the paths of tomorrow

As passions of the moment

Mix with memories of yesterday

Impulses begin jousting

For dominance of our person

Yet there is a window with mountain view

For seeing our posture in the meadow

By pausing to gaze there

We can visualize our options

REFLECTION

This is a poem I wrote many years ago and used as a foreward for a book called SAIL.

It is my personal belief that words soul, self and ego describe this place.

It is a place we need to go to make decisions and from which to speak with compassion and respect for oneself and others. 

This is an exerpt from "The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society" by Mary Ann Shaffer and Annie Barrows (Dial Press, 2008). 

"Thomas Stubbins is a man of long, deep thoughts. He was a psychiatrist in London until he ran amok at the annual dinner of the Friends of Sigmund Freud in 1934. He told me the whole story once. The Friends were great talkers and their speeches went on for hours - while the plates stayed bare. Finally they served up, and silence fell upon the hall as the psychiatrists bolted their chops. Thompson saw his chance: he beat his spoon upon the glass and shouted from the floor to be heard. 

Did any of you ever thingk that along about the time the notion of a SOUL gave out, Freud popped up with the EGO to take its place? The timing of the man! Did he not pause to reflect? The irresponsible old coot! It is my belief that men must spout this twaddle about egos, because they fear they have no soul."

About Freud's time, ego became a more fashionable word for the soul .... and even later self became more fashionable than ego. In many ways the strength of soul or ego or self defined the emotional strength of that person. It guided us to make prudent decisions and wise actions - not based on warped values or impulses. These decisions were based on a realistic and compassionate assessment of ourselves and others.

I do not think a person can have too much soul, or self, or ego. Yet the words self and ego have lost their healthy meaning and taken on "selfish" connotations.  

Treasure that place that is uniquely yours and spend some time there. Go there and center.  

  



A Fiery Heart

Lesley's First Post

The aftermath of the fires that raged through Yellowstone National Park was evident when Eric and I visited several years later. In the woodlands, now carpeted with rich green undergrowth, many of the trees were charred and fallen, a powerful contrast in destruction and resurrection. The fires destroyed huge areas of the park and yet within a short period of time nature reasserted herself and fresh shoots began to emerge through the ashes.

When fires rage through our lives, seemingly out of control and destroying all before them, we are faced with a choice. Will we be brave even in the face of devastation and push tiny green shoots of life out of the darkness? Will we grieve, be fearful and anxious about the future and yet allow the courage from our fiery heart to emerge? Or will we succumb and remain lifeless and barren.

Every day we are challenged to live from a courageous heart for life is not easy for anyone, no matter how it might look from the outside. Daily living is simply difficult. And devastation, with its many faces, always arrives sooner or later to all of us. A fiery, brave, courageous heart helps us face the smaller daily challenges, as well as the devastation, with an openness to love of self and from others. It allows us to embrace much needed support and face the pain in its many forms with humbleness and the hope that eventually we will learn the lessons that life is offering us with each twist and turn. 

Yellowstone presents with another image of hope, the bubbling geysers. They provide us with the symbol of the huge energy within us that is potentially available to fuel the fire of our hearts. It is up to us over time to find our own unique way of doing that.

But as a start begin practicing simply breathing deeply into the area of your heart, imagining the vast energy deep within you, just like within the earth. Know that the fiery, wild self has the courage to rejuvenate and become lively once again even after terrible trials and tribulations, just like Yellowstone.