Just Because

Eric's Blog

Just Because

 

Just Because

You can

Do it

 

It does not mean

It is

Good for you.

 

An old friend and colleague of mine, Fran Morris, used this statement often. At first it did not mean much to me, but the more I thought about it the more it made sense and became a practical tool.

 



 (Just because the steps are there, we don't have to climb them)

 

We can overwork, overspend and overextend ourselves. When we do, we limit our life satisfaction and create unnecessary stress in our lives.

 

As a couple or a family, each of us needs to do our share of tasks and carry our share of responsibility - our share, not our share and everyone elses' share. If I do everything I can do, then I am maybe setting the stage for others to do less than their share, and expecting that less to continue.

 





 (You don't have to get drenched unless you would enjoy it)

 

There is no simple way to examine whether what we "can do" is good for us. There is a standard however we can use to examine those issues. Whether it is a car we are considering purchasing or a chore we are considering doing then we might ask such questions as:

"What is good enough for me, for now? Have I done enough chores to rest? Is this car really in my price range?"

If it is "good enough for me for now" we are more likely to act responsibly and compassionately. 

The Kitchen

Lesley's Blog
I am not a great cook, although Eric and I do manage to produce relatively  tasty meals most evenings. My mother was often ill when I was a child and found eating problematic. Nonetheless she was very committed to ensuring that we ate healthy and nourishing meals and continued to do that for herself until her death at age 92. One of the major family messages was the importance of education so being at my mother's side in the kitchen, was not the main priority. It was homework. I certainly did not feel deprived as, at that time, I had no interest in learning to cook.



(Cooking style in the Panama jungle)

 

Not only did my parents provide a role model of healthy eating, but we ate dinner together around the dining room table, which was always covered with a clean white table cloth, and enjoyed Dad's humor and mostly pleasant conversation. Although the kitchen was not the hub for our family it was a place where we developed positive habits of taking care of our bodies and with the amount of walking and, for my sister and I, school sports we participated in, we all remained slender. I am very grateful for those lessons from my childhood as it is much more difficult to develop new habits as an adult than to continue habits developed as children.

Traditionally kitchens have been places where nourishment and sustenance were prepared, so for those of us who experienced that, walking into our home kitchen can bring those associations to mind. We can heighten the meaning of that symbol by taking care to ask ourselves when we are in our kitchen, "What food do I want to take into my body that would be truly nurturing for me?". And that can be extended when we reflect on how we can nourish ourselves in other ways in our lives.



(Worth a visit!)



In these changing times of busyness and family members often going in different directions in the evenings, the role of kitchens might be changing. Food is often ordered outside the home and for some kitchens seem to have been reduced to the fridge and what can be grabbed from it to eat on the run. But the association of loving nourishment and kitchens is still strong in our minds, if not in our reality, and can help in our daily lives to remind us to focus on such healthy nourishment in all ways.



(An open air market in Chile)



Kitchens can also be thought of as places of transformation, where raw material is transformed into something different, hopefully really tasty. When we involve ourself in a growth process we look at our internal raw material and our rawness, recognize that it all has value and can be transformed into new and wonderful ways of being. As with cooking we can see this process as challenging and fun or we can see it as a chore. It is always a choice.

 



(Sharing food in South America)



And like cooking, our growth process is a very creative endeavor. It can be exciting to look at what is in the fridge, freezer and all the cupboards and drawers of both the kitchen and our psyche and develop new creations that are ever more nourishing, sustaining, and delectable for ourselves and others. 

So, when you walk into your kitchen, maybe you can develop a habit of allowing questions to arise and be held in your mind.

*What would nurture me in body, mind and soul in this moment and this day?
*Can I honor my "raw material" and how do I want to transform it so that it enriches my life and the life of others?
*How can I create and recreate my life in an ongoing process of change and rebirth?
*How do I honor total Creation so that I have love and kindness for All Beings.

So give thanks for food, for yourself and for All Beings and enjoy the nourishment, transformation and creativity that is all around us in this amazing world.
               

           

MEMORIES

Eric's blog

Memories

 

Memories of Penny Candy

Gas at 17 Cents a Gallon

Bryl Cream

Blue Suede Shoes

 

Memories of Sock Hops

The First Black and White Television

Earning One Dollar per Hour

The First Kiss

 

Today the World has Changed

I hope I adapt

When I have to

And Yet Keep my Rich Heritage

(An old Post Office on Vancouver Island)

 

I still remember being a young boy and going to the neighborhood store (which is no longer there) and purchasing a handful of penny candies for a nickel. A little older, I would buy a bag of chips, a coke and a couple of bubble gums for 17 cents. Those memories and many others make adapting in today's world a bit complex. Those times are gone but they remain a part of me. They are pieces of who I am today.

 

They add a depth and richness to my current life and yet there is a part of me that grimaces when I pay four dollars for a gallon of gas or two dollars for a bag of chips. Then I tell myself - that was then (1950) and this is now (2014). The world has changed and I can adapt with it.

 

 



 (The new skyline in Detroit)

 

Some things like fancy cell phones are still uninteresting to me and "foreign". I don't adapt and I don't miss it either. A cell phone that just sends and receives calls is enough for me for now. Memories of pay phones and party lines still linger. A cell phone that rings and I can answer is enough of an adaptation for now. 

WINDOWS

Lesley's Blog

My most favorite place to sit in our home is in front of the large window which overlooks our Koi pond, surrounded by beautifully colorful plants. I watch small birds come to visit the flowers and drink from the water and enjoy the larger water birds on the lake just beyond our backyard. Our house has several large windows and I love how light and airy it feels.

 

Windows as symbols help us consider what brings light into our lives so that we can feel a sense of expansion and joy.They also can lead us to consider how we perceive the outside world. When I look at the Koi pond, for example do I just see the beauty or do I see all the work that needs to be done to take care of it? Or can we live the balance of enjoying the beauty and also being glad to do the gardening that keeps it beautiful? Do we see the cup empty or full, do we feel that basically people are kind or do we distrust and live in fear?

Windows are not just for looking out, they are also for looking into. We all have seen images in movies, or read about in books, of individuals staring through the window at the inside of a house or store with a longing to be on the inside instead of where they are, on the outside. They are longing for things they do not have or for experience that are not part of their current lives. We all have had feelings, at some point in our lives, of "being on the outside looking in", feeling left out or not good enough to be included, with all the shame and maybe anger that arises with those experiences. Longings take us away from gratitude and into a place of deficit. But when we allow ourselves to be filled up spiritually then we know we are good enough and that we and the God of our understanding are the only ones authorized to make that judgment. And we know that in this moment we have what we need, even if that is not what we want.  



(A house of many windows)

 

When night comes, windows change into something quite different. We can see ourselves in them, like mirrors. The symbolism now changes, for when we look in the mirror it is there that we can connect with our shadow, those aspects of ourselves that we usually keep hidden, but that still influence our behavior, often in not very pleasant ways. Can we allow those window mirrors to remind us to do our "shadow work" and seek ways to bring the unconscious to consciousness. When we do that, not only are we more in control of our behaviors but we also experience more energy and a sense of enlargement of ourselves.

Windows are usually by definition transparent. There are increasing demands for tranparency in the society and usually what we mean is that we want others (especially people in power) to be open and honest in their actions. We want truthful information so that we can understand, make informed decisions and trust. It is easy to ask that of others but a lot more difficult to ask that from ourselves. We all lie to ourselves and others; sometimes those are sins of commission and sometimes they are sins of omission. Either way, lack of truth damages ourselves and others. Sometimes we simply do not know what the truth really is. But what is important is to hold in our hearts a deep desire to be truthful to ourselves and to search for and be alert for those times when we stray from that, which can be remarkably often once we begin to try to see clearly through that window. It can be frightening to think about living with such honesty and extremely challenging  and yet eventually it brings us a remarkable internal peace and freedom.

On the far side of the Koi pond is an Agaste plant from which the hummingbirds love to feed from. They are so beautiful and fascinating to watch, bringing the joy to my heart that they symbolize. When you see a hummingbird, allow it to remind you to find the joy in your life and to seek the sweetness in all things. Playful by nature, hummingbirds are also hardworking, encouraging us to seek that balance for ourselves. In order to work as hard as they have to, so they can maintain their life, they have to do certain things to ensure that they conserve their energy. So hummingbirds can let us know to get enough rest and not take ourselves to the edge of exhaustion. Finally we all can see that they do amazing things, like no other bird in fact, and maybe they can lead us to know that sometimes the seemingly impossible can be accomplished.

So clean your windows (or at least the ones you look out of the most) and enjoy what you see and is reflected back to you. Feel the joy and dream far reaching dreams so you know that you are enough and have the resources to do and be amazing.