Precious Moments

Eric's Blog

Precious Moments

 

Capturing the

Splendor of the roses

As they bloom

With joyous vitality

 

Gazing at the pond

With its water reflecting the sun

And the ducks meandering

Effortlessly on the surface

 

Focusing on the joy and excitement

My collies show

As they wag their tails with anticipation

Just before I take them for a walk

 

 

Precious moments are there when we take the time to notice them. They add a depth and beauty to our lives and joy in living. The joy helps us to become more resilient when we need to cope with more difficult times.

 

Take the time to enjoy those precious moments and share them with others. 

Obedience

Lesley's Blog

Our four year old dog, Merlin, recently graduated from Basic Obedience class at K9 University. He did quite well, but it really only took dog and owner to be breathing for them to receive a certificate. Now I am doing Intermediate Obedience with both Chanel, now age 9, and Merlin and for this class we have to actually perform to an appropriate level in order to graduate. Although I am thoroughly enjoying myself, I am not sure the dogs feel the same. Chanel in particular almost rolls her eyes at the whole process and clearly is telling me that she is simply too old for all of this and would much prefer to be snoozing on the couch. Her response to the command to "come" is followed by a slow meandering motion roughly in my direction but she has no intention of arriving any time soon. Meanwhile, if there are any distractions, Merlin and I are toast!! Not discouraged, I have signed Chanel up for the Advanced class, although I have not told her yet.



(Merlin, obediently sitting)

 

Now, why I am blogging about the dogs, other than they are such a joy? Going to these classes has led me to think about what obedience means. The root of the word "obey" is "listen" or "hear" and it seems to me that has nothing to do with the assertion of one person's will over another. 

 The wonderful thing about training the dogs is it is obvious that I have to have a good relationship with them in order to even begin to have a chance that they will obey me in the long term. And I have to make sure that they hear and listen to me. That means I have to ensure that I have their attention and that I make myself clear. I have to do most of the "work" if someone is going to obey me. 

Once we are adults the situations under which we need to "obey" others are very different than when we are children and most of those situations are about safety. If we are in circumstances where our own life and the lives of others are being threatened then often we need to obey an authority in order to minimize a potential disaster. Also, if we have chosen to be in a job in which safety is an issue, like the armed forces, the police, the fire department etc., it is very important that we obey the rules.

Note, though, that I have used the word "chosen" with regards to jobs because we all have choices about the jobs we do. If we don't want to "obey" the system we can choose to leave it, although we are usually well advised to have another job lined up before we do. It is not a good idea to leave things so long that we feel we can't stand it any longer and simply bolt. 

So, beyond safety, what does obedience mean as an adult? I believe it means to listen to and hear ourself. And then you might ask - what does that mean? During our childhood we listen to others and develop belief systems, ideas and ways of behaving that have been told to, and modeled for, us.

As we mature it is important that we question those beliefs, ideas and behavior patterns that we have learned from others, not from a place of rebellion but with questions such as, "Is that true?", "Are there other ways of looking at or thinking about that and what are they?", "What do I really think and know for myself?", "Have I examined the facts and looked at where my beliefs, ideas and behaviors really come from?", "Do the internal voices which I adhere to really come from me or are they voices that come from others; my mother, my father, my teachers etc.?".

When we ask the questions and earnestly seek the answer, then we are beginning the process of self obedience, of being willing to listen to and hear ourself. Obedience is not about others but about being obedient to ourself after self examination from a place of extreme honestly. It is all a difficult and demanding process but well worth it. Being obedient to ourselves is about real freedom, when we are free from the unquestioned influences of others and are instead true to ourselves. 

If I want to be obedient I need to have a good relationship to myself so that I can listen to and hear my internal process. And just like with the dogs, I have to get my attention and not allow myself to get lost in a myriad of distractions. Then I have to be clear, honest and kind with my directions to myself.

(Chanel, sitting pretty!)   

Meanwhile, I hope the dogs don't decide that being true to themselves means that they are not going to do the obedience training!!   

Living Well

Eric's Post

Living Well

 

Loving you

Means accepting who you are

Respecting you

Caring about you

 

Loving me

Means accepting me as I am

Respecting me

Caring about me

 

Loving you and loving me

Is living well

(Roses - difficult to nurture into full beauty but worth all the effort)

 

Loving you and me simultaneously can be a tricky business. Sensitivity to your needs without sensitivity to my own needs or limitations can make it difficult. Similarly the reverse is true.

 

It takes conscious awareness  of both you and me to pull it off. More than that it takes practice: practicing what acceptance of what you and I means, practicing considering both of us when I am making decisions or considering actions. We are easily pulled off this path when we become ultra-sensitive to others or myopic in considering the needs of others.

 

Loving you and me takes practice and conscious determination, but the results are worth it ...... living well.

Doing What I Really Want

Lesley's Blog

Grandma Moses started to paint at a very grand old age and she is just one of many people who, in their later years, have decided to do just what they really want and love it.
 
Last Monday I went to the house of a good friend to see her 78 year old spouse's pottery that he had created over the last 5 months of taking classes for the first time. He had always done wonderful woodwork but this was his first attempt at pottery and it was amazing.

I also went to listen to my friend's poetry. Although she has read lots of poetry over the years, being a great love of hers, this year she decided to take a class in poetry writing. She, like her spouse, is in her 70's and it is her first poetry writing class. Her poems, like his pottery, are amazing. They are beautiful, funny, moving and so much more. They both are loving what they are doing.

My sister at age 70 has just started to write a novel. She has always been very creative with a variety of artistic endeavors including painting in water colors and making beautiful quilts but writing is a relatively new creative love. The book on ancestry that she has worked on for three or so years is mostly complete so now she is researching and writing a fiction book.

And I too have started to write a novel at age 67. It is great fun when my sister and I exchange ideas and keep each other going at those time we are losing faith in ourselves a little. I love that so many individuals in their 60's and 70's and older are trying new creative things and finding what they really love to do.



(A lamb in Spring, in the British countryside, where Maggie and I love to hike together. Seeing the new lambs at that time of year, always reminds me that creativity is about new birth for us.)

 

But the other issue for me is more of a personal one. I have enjoyed writing for several years but I was trained as a scientist in Britain and took no English classes after high school so have no fantasies about being a published author. My writing skills are simply not good enough. Over the years I have toyed with the idea of writing a novel but felt that I needed to use my time in more productive ways and that the time it would take to write an unpublishable novel would be wasted. I focused instead on more constructive endeavors. The idea that I could do something for the sheer pleasure of doing it, without it benefiting anyone else or making money (although the latter was much less important that the former) was completely foreign to me although I would certainly encourage my clients to do just that.

In the last few months I have had a lovely change of attitude and heart. I love writing this novel and doing all the interesting research. My actual writing still had not improved so it is not for the consumption of others. It is simply for me and the enjoyment of doing it (and learning so much along the way). In my mind I have a ten year plan so, unlike in my "former" life , I feel no pressure to finish it in a "timely" manner and do something constructive with it. It feels so releasing and delicious. 

Maybe we have to wait until a certain time in our lives to develop such a new attitude but I would encourage you all to not wait quite as long as I did.