The Kingfisher

Lesley's Blog

The kingfisher came again today, sat on the fence and looked at the lake. As always, my heart did a little dance when I saw him. 

It was early spring the last time he visited, sat on the wire close to our small koi pond and peered at the fish. We see lots of birds on and around the lake and our garden but it is the kingfisher that thrills me. The stately herons and energetic humming birds are delightful but it is the kingfisher who makes me catch my breath and brings a special smile to face.

Out of my interest in Jungian Psychology and my work with dream interpretation I love to delve into the meaning of symbols so I looked up Kingfisher. I learned that when this lovely bird arrives in our life it brings the energy of enjoyment, prosperity and love, challenging us to dive into something new, beckoning us to take the plunge with enthusiam. I'm certainly good with that as long as it is not the bird that is diving into our koi pond with great enthusiasm for our fish.

But I wanted to take a deeper plunge so I began to play with the word Kingfisher. What came to mind was the biblical stories about Jesus (who is often thought of as King) telling the fishermen whom he was "recruiting" as disciples to "Follow me and I will make you fishers of men". Jesus was walking by the Sea of Galilee and commandered the fishing boat of Simon (Peter) and Andrew from which to speak to the crowd who had been following him. After he had finished teaching he told the men to go back into the deeper part of the lake and recast their nets. They had been fishing all night and caught nothing so they were probably a bit miffed at the request but complied in any case. Much to their suprise they caught a huge number of fish. After this miracle, so the story tells, the fishermen left everything and followed Jesus. 

I am certainly not a biblical scholar and have not looked up what the scholarly understanding of this story is. I am only curious at this point with what it might mean for the "King" to be himself a "fisher of men" and to make the disciples also "fishers of men". It seems important that one of the symbols for Christ was that of the fish, used by the early Christians, who were often persecuted, to identify each other.   

Being a fisherman is an ancient profession, often fraught with danger and the humbling experiences of coming home empty handed. It certainly teaches patience and a sense that we are not in control in a way that we might like to be. We have to turn up, seek and wait.

It seems to me that maybe that is the mysterious dance that occurs between whatever we think of as God and ourself. "God" is always there, seeking and waiting for us but when we long for the Presence it can feel as elusive as fish can be. We look, we search and try to be patient but the fish seems to have hidden itself or relocated to another stream, another river, another ocean or disappeared completely to another universe. The "Christ" cannot be found or caught. The "fish" is not present to us. Then, when we least expect it, just when we are giving up, when we try again in the depths, the "fish" is there and there in abundance. How wonderful it feels and in that moment we know that it is just the "right" time.   

We too are like elusive fish but for very different reasons. God is always there, the ever patient fisherperson and will keep on seeking and waiting. Our disappearances are deliberate. We hide, we run away, we refuse to take the bait and be caught but the Divine Kingfisher is ever patient and when we finally swim by we will be gently embraced into that peace that passeth all understanding.

But we must remember to have no expectations for they create attachments and we long to hold onto those amazing feelings and experiences that are not there to cling to. We must catch and release and allow ourselves to be caught and released. The fish and the fisherperson will always be there to embrace in that beautiful dance again but we won't know when. Just turn up, seek and wait with patience. 

        

      

    

Putting Words To Feelings

Eric's Blog

Putting Words to Feelings

 

Saying I am sorry

Worried or angry

Helps you and I manage these feelings

 

Saying this flower is beautiful

The soup is tasty or the view is gorgeous

Helps you and I

Share the beauty and joy

 

 

 

Putting words to unpleasant feelings means we have already taken a first step to coping with them. Feelings like anger, anxiety and other dysphoric emotions have the capacity to drive us to dysfunctional ways of behaving. The amygdala initiates those feelings without our permission. They just happen automatically. When we put words to those feelings we engage our frontal lobe to manage them more effectively. If we communicate those feelings to others they too can have a better understanding of our condition.

 

 

 







 

Putting words to pleasant feelings and sharing those words with others magnifies the beauty. In common day to day living we often miss or pay little attention to the beauty around us. So, when someone notices a beautiful sunset or flower, or a baby's smile and shares those feelings with others, they give an opportunity to others to experience added beauty in their lives.

 

Putting words to feelings helps us magnify our opportunities for life satisfaction. 

Dual Citizen

Lesley's haiku of picture

 





 

Lesley's citizenship ceremony

 

 

The Immigrant

 





Home and distant home

Night dreams deep longing for both

Love holds opposites



The Haiku and the Heron

Lesley's haiku of picture.

Recently, in the magazine "Shambala Sun", I read an article by Mary Rose O'Reilly. Several years ago I had come across her books and poetry and especially enjoyed reading the book "The Love of Impermanent Things." This current article was about writing a haiku, a seventeen syllable Japanese poetry form that I knew about but had sort of forgotton about.

Also recently I had been looking at old photograph albums and taking long, meandering walks down memory lane. It was delicious (just like all those Christmas goodies that have flooded our house with calories) and non fattening. Reconnecting with the simplicity and focus of the haiku form I decided to put poetry to pictures. So throughout the year I plan to scatter my efforts into cyberspace, along with the regular blogs. I am not a poetry writer really but I can, as Mary Rose O'Reilly suggests, lower my perfectionistic standards and enjoy the process. 
Here is the first haiku of picture.

Lone winter heron

Patiently fishing the lake

Stillness reaps reward 

BROTHERS

Eric's Blog

Brothers

 

We have much in common

Like fishing, football, scrabble and more

We have Ph.D's in psychology

We have adopted children

 

We live a thousand miles away

And are seventeen years apart

Yet remain close

Maybe it is in the genes

 

It is a true blessing of my life that I enjoy my brother's company. With the distance in years and miles that separate us, odds are not good that this would be true. But it is and we are like best friends as well as brothers.

 

Part of the closeness may be related to genetic factors and similarities in parenting, in where we grew up and general environment. Yet that can only be a part of it because each of us knows brothers and sisters who are distant from each other and simply don't like each other.

 

Perhaps some of it is due to similar interests, but I believe a larger part is due to acceptance of ourselves and each other, the way we are.

 

Recently my brother and I entered a football pool with 46 participants and we came in first and second. Something about brothers being in sinc?

 

Brothers and sisters send love and acceptance.

 

 

Thresholds

Lesley's Post

For Christmas we were in Sulphur, Oklahoma. We'd had an ice storm in Oklahoma City but luckily the roads were clear for our journey south when we left Christmas Eve day. The trees were covered with ice, glistening in the sun and we were amazed at the beauty of it all. And yet we reflected about how something that is so beautiful can also be so destructive, just like so much of life. There are those times of terrible suffering, freezing our lives, that can be slowly warmed by love, comfort and eventually, maybe, way in the future by the beauty of a tentative sense of meaning. Inside of us there are places where beauty and danger jostle for expression and where places of ice can be warmed, if we allow it, by opening our hearts and letting the sun in.

 

Halfway to our destination the ice disappeared, as if someone had drawn a line in the sand, or in this case the red earth. It was a threshold moment. This time of year is a threshold time. The New Birth at Christmas is followed by the New Year and we have to decide if we are going to stand in the doorway, in the liminal space, or pass through into the newness.  Sometimes the liminal space is a necessary time of incubation, pregnancy or hibernation when internal processes are working in unknown ways. But eventually, unless we are going to stay asleep for the rest of our lives or remain horribly uncomfortable with our unbirthed newness then we have to make a decision to walk through the door. And maybe this year we can make the newness more than losing weight or earning more money (not that those things necessarily are negative). So what would the more be for you? It doesn't have to be big or special from a worldly perspective, just maybe something important for your soul.

 

While we were in Sulphur we visited the Chickasaw Cultural Center, a beautifully developed, interesting, artistic and educational experience . At the beginning of our visit, prior to a demonstration of the traditional Stomp Dance, the Native American presenter spoke of how their gatherings are begun by "Opening the Door". As I understood it, this was a communal invitation and dance to offer a heartfelt welcome to family and friends and to leave our busyness and past mistakes and problems behind so that there is a new beginning. 

Maybe we can learn from that beautiful Chickasaw tradition and open the door. Can we make a daily promise to greet ourselves, family and friends with loving kindness and an open heart, to have moments when we release our busyness, to forgive our past mistakes and to face our challenges with courage when the time is right? Now that would be a New Year's Resolution!!

 



         

A NEW YEAR

Eric's Blog

A New Year

 

 

Another year

Has come and gone

 

Another year

Is coming

 

This year

I hope to cherish

The moments

 

Embracing and Accepting

Each opportunity

And life experience
 

 

 

Sometimes when I am at my best I truly embrace my present experience, without looking forward ... to what I might be doing ... or backward ... to what I did or might have done. Experiencing what I am doing right now seems to bring a level of satisfaction that I cannot experience otherwise.

 

The other day in the dentist's chair I found myself wishing the ordeal was over. It seemed to make it worse. I instead concentrated on the healing the periodontist was doing. It seemed to help.

 

I think it is nice to look forward to something but sometimes that may actually reduce the enjoyment of our current situation if we do not accept and embrace the present.

 

Sometimes when our brain starts buzzing we spend more time thinking about what happened in the past or what may happen ... and miss what is happening.