Comfort Zone

Eric's Blog

Comfort Zone

 

What I usually do

Where I usually go

What I usually wear

Who I usually meet

 

Usually is comfortable

Like an old shoe

Tried and true

And comfy

 

But old shoes usually

Wear out

And we need new ones

To walk the path

 

Many things we do are ingrained habits. They are our comfort zone. They are easy and do not demand extra energy or courage. They make life predictable. Occasionally however, they may also land us in a rut, a place where we stop growing and experiencing new opportunities for change. Meeting that new person, wearing something different or just changing the routine may sometimes be important. 

 

A few months ago I had the opportunity to try a zip line. Climbing the ladder to get to it, about 40 feet up a tree, was definitely out of my comfort zone, as was zipping along the line itself. Overcoming my fear, I did it. Going outside my comfort zone brought exhilaration and a feeling of accomplishment I did not expect. 

 

Sometimes we need to get new shoes.     

Circles

Lesley's Blog

If we pay attention we will see circles everywhere as we go about our daily lives. This universal symbol can have extra importance for many of us in the twenty first century to help us reconnect with the cycles of life, allowing us once again to honor the rhythms of the external and internal worlds.

Most of us do not tend the earth or hunt and gather in the way that our forefathers and mothers did. We are not intimate with births and deaths as tribal cultures have been through the ages so that the reality of the circle of life has become more remote. We do not have multiple rituals to ensure that crops are blessed, seasonal changes acknowledged and the transition into womanhood or manhood is completed in a full and timely way.

 

(Petroglyph in New Mexico)
 

Most of us in America live in houses with electricity so that we are no longer bound by the cycles of light and dark. Employees can work all night if the job requires it and times of rest are not dictated by the circle of the setting of the sun and the rising of the moon. Few of us are in tune with our internal rhythms and it would probably not be looked on very positively if we took a nap on our job during the time when our energy was the lowest, even though that might actually raise our productivity and enhance our creativity. 

With all this disconnection from self and our environment, it is very hard to feel how important it is to protect the earth on which we live. It all seems so abstract to most of us, even though, when we think about it, we know it is a very good idea. But often we don't have a deep sense of the real urgency because we are cut off from the circle of life both inside and outside.





(Yellowstone National Park)

 

When we are truly connected to that circle of life we finally know in a different way that we are all linked in the great web of existance. We can no longer pretend that there is a divide between us and them so we are less quick to judge and more willing to heal conflict.

King Arthur was wise when he made all his Knights sit at a round table, the shape that symbolizes equality, not power over. We live in a world of hierarchy, competition and winner and losers. At the round table we are all powerful and all powerless called to make decisions for the good of all beings, based on love and non-judgement.

So what does this all mean for our daily lives? Can the image of the circle help remind us to live deeper into love and understanding for self and others?

When you sit in front of a round dinner plate at the evening meal remember about the circle of life and give thanks for all living beings that have sacrificed their lives that you might eat. Can you remember and give thanks for the many, many people who have contributed to this meal on this round plate?

 

(Wedding cake made by my sister and her daughter for her son's wedding)
 

When you drink a cup of coffee can the round mug help you imagine all the people on earth at that moment who are drinking coffee and send them blessings? Can you realise that no matter what nationality, gender, religion or sexual orientation they are, we are all part of that great circle of life and therefore all linked? We might have categorized them in the past as the good, the bad and the ugly but in reality they are all us and we are all them. We can all be good, bad and ugly in any given moment, as can they. Can the circle bring you to a place of love and if we cannot quite get there can we at least offer them to the Divine to be loved?

At work can we find an image of a circle to remind us to be more understanding of differences so that they might enrich the creative process. Can we, in our imagination, see the square conference table as the round table of King Arthur and transcend our pettiness to rise into the energy of the Knights.

Any connection with our own internal rhythms has so often been lost in busyness or has never been developed during our childhood years. Without judgement, can you simply notice those cycles of energy and tiredness? Can you watch the circle of your moods, simply observing and not needing to make yourself snap out of it or long for a state to be permanent. Things come and things go in the great round of life, all is impermanent on this earth, even if we would like it not to be so. Longing for it to be different and judging the situation and ourselves adds to our suffering. Observation, acceptance and a recognition that life is dynamic, regenerative and always moving can help us be at peace in the moment, go with the flow and know that there is always a plan B, C or D that we can try. All of this is not to say that we do not recognize, assess and seek for answers to our problems and stress but maybe from the larger view of the circle of life we can find somewhat different solutions that are more likely to bring peace and love to all beings, including ourselves.   

(Jars of olive in a market in Chile)  

This week enjoy experimenting with diving into the depth of symbols, especially the circle and see how they can enrich your life internally and externally. Just a reminder to be gentle with ourselves so that you don't see this as yet another task to do. Don't "run around in circles", busy trying to live the symbolic life. The idea is to enjoy, not add to your suffering. So, please relax and enjoy.                

Getting Started

Eric's Blog

 

Getting Started

 

With many of the chores

And tasks I face

The key is

Getting started

 

Once I've started

I often wonder

Why it was so hard

To get going

 

 

I know there are various chores I need to do to keep up and to feel I am on track with managing myself and my life. Weeding, pruning roses, dishes, picking up dog poop and bill paying are just some of them. There is a certain inertia that sets in just before I start them. It is a "maybe it can wait until later" thought or maybe it is a feeling that I need to nurture myself for a while. I know better though and if I set my mind to it I dispose of that inertia, get started, get finished and then relax.

 

I enjoy the relaxation so much more after I have finished the chore. And once I have started the task, it's not so bad after all.  

Just Show Up

Lesley's Blog

As part of my work as a spiritual mentor I lead dream groups which meet every month. At the beginning of each group we have a short period of silence during which I offer a theme on which to focus. In the week of Valentine's Day the focus was on "heart" and the question posed was "What does your passionate heart want?"

After the silence each group member, including myself, had the opportunity to share their internal response to the question. When we do this process I am always suprised at what emerges and this time was no exception. The words "Just Show Up" came to me. 



Over the months of writing this blog I have shared my longings to know what direction my life should take as I age and move further from being so busy with my career. I thought that I should be doing something that would contribute in practical ways to the good of all beings. Reading about all the amazing things that people do to help others fascinates me. Just yesterday I was reading about the work of the Nature Conservancy in Mongolia and while walking with a dear friend, she shared a story of a women who had begun an apple growing project in Africa. I know that there are lots and lots of options and yet I have not been able to discern in what direction my life energy longs to go. Sometimes I have wondered if I should choose something at random and just jump in.

The words, "Just Show Up", came with a suprising feeling of relief and a deep sense of relaxation in my body. Maybe I don't have to struggle to know my "path" after all and that who and what I am is good enough in this moment. What a thought.

I believe that the true passion in our hearts reflects the passion of the Divine. God is pure love and if we are made in the image of the Divine then our path would simply be one of love. Is that it then? Do I "Just Show Up" to do the apparently simple but often almost impossibly complicated task of loving.

 

From years of being a therapist I know that loving has to start with ourselves and for many of us that is a life long challenge. But we also are called to show up everyday with loving behaviors for all beings and that includes even those beings for whom we have not very pleasant thoughts and feelings. And it includes all those times when we don't feel loving to those we do love.

So, that's the plan and however much love I can muster in any given moment will be good enough. I just have to show up and do the best I can. If there are things that I still need to "do" in my life then I can have the faith to know that they will also just show up. Meanwhile I will just "be" loving.           

           

DOGS

ERIC'S BLOG

DOGS

 

They poop all over my lawn

They throw up after eating cell phones and weeds

They bark when I don't want them to

They slobber in their water bowls and shed hair

Merlin when he was a 

cell phone eating puppy 

 

YES THEY DO

BUT

 

My spirit runs with them as they run in the field

My heart is warmed as they wag their tails

My life is enriched by their presence

 

I love my dogs

 

 

We have mentioned our two short haired collies, Chanel and Merlin, in several previous blogs. Each day there is some task related to their upkeep but the joy they bring our household far outweighs the problems they cause.

 

The dogs are loving companions. Their love is unconditional. Their acceptance of us enhances our acceptance of ourselves.  

ABOUT SHEEP

Lesley's Blog

Spring in Britain is beautiful with gardens beginning to bloom and wild flowers sprinkling the countryside with an amazing array of colors. But what brings me the most delight is the lambs, white bundles of energy gambling in the greening fields. Watching them calls forth a joy that reminds me to find time to be playful and frolic with abandon whenever I have the chance (although my aging bones are not so sure about all that).





However, we have other associations to sheep that are not so joyful. We speak of people being like sheep when they follow the dictates of others and simply go where they are being led or herded, irrespective of the danger or "rightness". When we act like sheep we refuse to think for ourselves, refuse to ask the questions that need to be asked and we allow our fears, impulses, addictions or mental laziness to dictate our choices. The consequences are often disasterous for ourselves, for others and for the world at large.

In building and maintaining societies there is a delicate balance between adhering to the rules and regulations and obeying authority and questioning those same rules and authority. We must always be alert to when the powers that be are no longer acting for the good of all beings and challenge that authority. It is a dangerous business and requires great courage but we all know numerous example from history and our own lives when not to do so had devastating results.

Likewise in building our own internal structure we must be willing to question on a regular basis those internal rules, regulations and authorities on which we base our lives. We must be willing to change what are outdated, drain our energy and no longer serve us in soulful ways.

We own two beautiful smooth collies, a breed that was originally bred for herding cattle and sheep. They still have remnants of that instinct but, if you put them in a field of sheep, chaos would reign. Likewise when we are herded internally by energy that is out of control, undisciplined and not for our highest good then all is not well. 

In Britain border collies are the breed that is most often seen herding sheep. They are very well trained so that the sheep go in the right direction, are safe and protected. So it is with us internally, if we have developed well disciplined aspects that keep us on track and moving in directions that are in our best interest. 

Sheep and collies are useful images to keep in mind. They can help us live with questions such as "Am I being like a sheep?" and "Is my internal herder being disciplined and leading me in a direction that is appropriate or am I allowing myself to be scattered chaotically to the winds with no focus?"

Several years ago I took a group of women on a study tour to North Wales. One of the things we focused on was experimenting with and practicing living symbolically. We tried to be aware of what was happening in each moment and would wonder what lesson we might be being offered. It is like considering your whole life experience as a dream, interpreting it accordingly and formulating questions to live with. It was fun and yet also often turned out to be very meaningful.





One of the places we  visited was Aber Falls. We had to walk a considerable distance to the Falls and there were many images, symbols and experiences to consider along the way. A very moving happening involved sheep, a collie and a shepherd. When I returned from the trip I wrote the following.

"On that special day we were graced with a moving experience that touched our hearts and brought tears to our eyes.

A shepherd clad in blue denim overalls and carrying a traditional shepherd's crook was directing his dog in herding sheep across the scree on the steep hillside. In response to his whistling and gesturing, the sheep dog deftly guided the animals towards a new grazing area. Three unruly lines of stubborn sheep were eventually tidied into single file except for a persistent straggler. We watched the skill of the man and dog with fascination and awe. The majority of the sheep had made it to the grassy area on the far side of the scree when suddenly one lost its footing. Horrified we saw it roll over and over, as if in slow motion, down the steep slope to rest finally motionless at the bottom.

The sheep dog was in obvious conflict watching the sheep fall and yet still being responsible for guiding the irritating straggler across the hillside. The dog chose to stay with the initial assignment to get the errant sheep in the right place. But once that was complete it raced down the hillside to nuzzle and lick the hurt animal with a tenderness that brought tears to our eyes. When the shepherd arrived he lifted the sheep onto his shoulders and I remembered a picture in my grandmother's bible of Christ with a sheep on his shoulders in just the same way.

The story had a happy ending. Shortly after we arrived back at the car park, we learned that the sheep was on its feet, albeit limping a little and that the shepherd had it all well in hand."

Now there are so many ways to respond to this beautiful event when we think of it as a dream but to expand on that would simply be too lengthy for a blog. However I did write about the image of the Shepherd that might provide some ways to look at the whole experience symbolically.

"The Good Shepherd tends to all his sheep and makes sure they are safe. He seeks for those that have gone astray and are lost and will spare no effort until they are found. For those who have faith in a Divinity it is a mark of the deep compassion of the Divine that even when we have gone astray we will be sought and therefore never really lost. Forgiveness is ever present. 

And so it is internally. When we are a Good Shepherd to ourselves, we seek those parts of us that have gone astray and restore them to the fold with forgiveness. And in our lostness we can have some reassurance that there is a Good Shepherd in us that will be seeking, even when we feel we are lost beyond being  found.

What aspects of yourself are lost or have gone astray and will you be the Good Shepherd and seek them? In considering this question, remember that our Shadow contains gold as well as darkness."


   




         

Driving or Driven

Eric's Blog

Driving or Driven

 

We are captured

As we ruminate, act compulsively

Obsess and search for perfection

We are driven

 

Becoming consciously aware

Of these violators

We can cast them out

And return to driving

 



 

 

We are creatures of habit. Some of those habits perseverate and drive us to painful ways of living. Obsessing or ruminating on a topic means our mind is captured by thoughts that no longer serve us, but keep us stuck. Acting compulsively we are moved by habits that are comfortable but non productive. Searching for the perfect gift or the perfect car or the perfect poem will always leave us disappointed.

 

Conscious awareness that we are being driven by these violators of our soul is the first step towards removing them from our lives. If we believe they are destructive to us from the center of our soul or spirit we can muster energy/ anger to cast them out, to think more clearly, act more consciously and evolve a standard of good enough for now. Then instead of being driven, we are driving.