The Community on the Corner

Lesley's Post

In a recent post I wrote of the local Sweetie Shops that served the neighborhoods when I was a child. One of those, located on a street corner, belonged to my grandmother. Several years after my grandmother closed her shop, and I was entering my teen years, my mother decided to open a wool and drapery business from that same corner shop.

Sometimes I worked there on Saturdays and during the school holidays. I enjoyed talking to and serving the women as they came to choose from the wonderful array of wool that Mum stocked. Knitting was a great hobby of mine that I began when I was seven or eight. So, one of the perks of the shop was being able to peruse the patterns and knit whatever I wanted to. Talk about being "a kid in a candy store"!! 

It wasn't long before I realized that corner stores such as Mum's were not just about selling goods but were also an important aspect of forming community. Women would come in to sit a while and have a cup of tea. They shared the ups and downs of their lives and often were not averse to gossiping about the ups and downs of the lives of others. I also learned that my mother did not gossip and that she was a very savvy business woman with a strong creative flair. She was a wonderful role model and the lessons I learned from her stood me in good stead in my adult years.

The community I was raised in, like most communities at that time, was served by a large variety of small personally owned stores. They were places where people gathered to share and assist each other with support and advice and sometimes a helping hand. By and large such stores have gone out of business, disappearing as the large supermarkets and chains move in to take over the retail business in even the smallest of communities. There are certainly many advantages to these changes that allow busy working folks to shop at convenient times and with lots of parking available.

Many of us in our older years remember times when people in neighborhoods sat on their front porches and visited with each other, developing communities that provided support and assistance in times of need. Now with most women working outside the home and families leading such busy lives, time is of the essence and the old forms of community are more elusive.

So now, with the loss of some of the old forms of community in the neighborhoods or around the corner at the stores, how do we ensure that new forms are developed in ways that nuture and nourish us? Just like so many things in this wonderful world, as the old dies away the new arise, often in very different forms. So it is with communities if we keep open minds and hearts. We have already developed places where seniors can gather or where new moms can learn from and support each other. There are team experiences that give children a sense of belonging and many individuals with similar interests meet to share and often to form deep friendships. And then of course there is all the networking on the internet which is still in its relative infancy with regard to how effective it is as a nurturing and nourishing community. 

But it does seem that maybe we have to be more conscious, than we used to be, to form and maintain communities, relationships and friendships throughout our lives that we can depend on for love and sharing, for laughter and fun, for reciprocal support and help. They are not just automatically there. 

This need for attention to community seems to be increasingly important as we age and maybe increasingly difficult. Many people cling to the old notion that their children have a responsibilty to be there for them and take care of them and they have a rather fixed idea of what that means. But like other expectations, in this day and age, they are increasingly unlikely to be met. Children have often moved far away, are too busy or simply do not have the same philosophy as their parents. It is important that as much as possible we take care of our own aging needs and the painful decisions that go with it, making it easy for others to assist us when we need it. Being prepared to leave our beloved homes and move into establishments such as "assisted living" when that is appropriate, and opening ourselves to the possiblity of the adventure of a new life and community there, demonstrates grace and dignity on our part. And our loved ones will love us for it.  

So, be smart and involve yourself in nurturing and nourishing communities throughout your life span. It will be good for your health, heart and spirit. Keep your mind and heart open to opportunities that come your way and be prepared to experiment with options so that life is always an adventure, even in the "winter" of  your life.