TIME

ERIC'S POST

TIME

Better late

Than never

 

This is a motto

Some live by

 

But they are always late

To a time we have agreed upon

 

I'm on time

Almost always on time

 

It's my motto

I don't like theirs

 

 

Some people seem to feel like it is their right to always come late. It's like they feel entitled. If I am late you should understand over and over again. Once in awhile is OK. Habitual lateness irks me. We have a plan. If you cannot make the plan then don't make it or change it as we make it. Most of the people in my current life are respectful of our joint commitments. I am grateful for this. 

 



Meandering in Mazy Motion

Lesley's Post

Recently I watched a movie on the life of Diane Vreeland and loved the way she lived with an amazing intensity and had a career during which she was extraordinarily creative. She worked very hard but at the same time pushed the boundaries of the possible and clearly thought and behaved "outside the box".

Now I don't imagine that I can be like this one of a kind person, and I don't actually want to because I am aware that everything has it's downside and dark side. But in the wake of seeing the movie I went to a store owned by a friend and "unconsciously" bought a hot pink shapely outfit, quite unlike something I would usually purchase. It felt like I was exploring an "out of the box" part of myself in just a very small way. It seemed as if I had wandered into a little bit of wildness.      

The Poem "Kubla Khan" is a favorite of mine and I especially love the line,
                  "Five miles meandering in a mazy motion".
According to the dictionary the word "meander" means to take a winding or indirect course; wander aimlessly; ramble. "Mazy" means full of confusing turns, passages; like a maze.

Throughout most of my life I have developed goals and plans that have guided my life and when Plan A did not work, then I would develop Plan B or C until I found a way through the difficulty or crisis. It has been the opposite of "meandering in mazy motion" or living in the wildness and yet for the most part it has worked. After much education, I have had a meaningful career as a psychologist, mostly in private practice, planned wonderful vacations, for myself and others, and had a well organized home life. It has been good and I feel very blessed.

Now in my sixties and entering the retirement years, I feel drawn to live somewhat differently with less goal direction and outcomes and more meandering and enjoying the process. It is proving to be a challenge. It is hard to stand in the face of the dark side of being a planner, the guilt and the "shoulds" that can raise their ugly heads when I am not busy with some productive, goal directed behavior.

But I am determined to join the "Wanderers" of this world who journey to explore the unknown regions of the landscape, both internally and externally, where the wildness of us still remains waiting for us to arrive. And I hope that Carol Pearson is right in her book "The Hero Within" when she writes in the chapter "The Wanderer", "Indeed, the Wanderer ultimately teaches us to be ourselves - to be fully true to ourselves in every moment." When I ask myself "What do I deeply desire?", it is just that - to know my true self and be that in every moment. 

So, I hereby commit to meandering in mazy motion, wandering and rambling through my life, freeing myself to discover all I can about my internal and external landscape. And I trust that there is a way to be both pleasantly organized with plans and wander merrily into the wildness.       

WAITING

Eric's Post 

Waiting for

The movie to start

 

Waiting for

The food to arrive

 

Waiting for

The sun to come up

 

Waiting for the future

Loses the present moment

And what is happening now

 

In waiting sometimes

We want something else to be happening

 

Now is happening

Seizing that moment

Captures the present opportunity

 

 

Waiting is a natural part of living. Sometimes when we are waiting we miss the opportunites of the present moment; opportunities for meaningful conversation, activities and achievements. Looking to the future for satisfaction or fulfillment may place unrealistic expectations on the future moment to bring pleasures that are never realized.

 

As a boy I remember "waiting" for days to open my Christmas presents and often being disappointed at the results. That "waiting" period was almost torturous and I missed opportunities for enjoying myself. Early in my adult life I realized that "now" is a gift and endeavored to live increasingly in the place of the moment.

Some people put off joy and satisfaction to the future by saying, "When this happens ..... " I can relax or feel better. Sadly they miss all the moments in between.

 

So, let's seize the moment, the "NOW" opportunity as we wait.  

 

  



The Post Office

Lesley's Post

Rushing into the post office yesterday I was relieved there was only one person at the counter and no line. I had a lot to do and this was going to be quick. The assistant behind the counter asked the customer if she needed anything else and I anticipated that the check-out was immanent. The woman thought for a moment and then asked what sort of stamps were available. A red covered folder with several pages was handed to her and she slowly turned over each page studying the pictures on the stamps.

As I stood and watched I could feel the irritation rising. I wanted her to hurry up so I could hurry up and continue to check off my list of things to do. Patience was nowhere to be found.

There is nothing particularly unusual about this scenerio. We go to stores and wait in line everyday but today I was interested in my internal reactions. I found myself becoming increasingly irritated with each page of stamps that was being studied and although maybe such a response might be understandable, I felt ashamed at myself for such feelings. The internal conflict between the irritation at the situation and my efforts to change my thoughts and feelings to those more closely resembling a modicum of loving kindness raged merrily inside of me.

Becoming irritated in the post office might not seem a big deal and certainly not worth blogging about. But I want to change my behavior and be the sort of person who could be in the present moment with patience and peace, irrespective of the circumstance - well, maybe not in all circumstances!! But I do believe that life is about the small things and I can ask myself to make every effort to develop responses that are in line with my deepest desires for my behavior.

So, here I was, irritable and impatient and the best I could do was to be aware of the conflict busily intensifying inside me. At least that was something and a first step towards change.

It wasn't long after I left the post office that I released the irritation and the shame and reflected on why I had reacted in such a way. It wasn't rocket science of course - I was in a hurry and had lots to do so my own internal tension quickly took flight and landed on the unsuspecting customer at the counter. My tension became her fault. Not a good plan when one of the cardinal rules psychologically and spiritually is to not direct blame onto others.

Later I attended a spiritual group that meets monthly and I was recounting my experience both externally and internally. We talked about it for a while and then suddenly we were laughing at ourselves for all the really silly things we do on a daily basis, things that are definitely not in line with our hopes for a spiritual path. As we told funny stories about our "non spiritual" antics, the laughter was like a breath of fresh air bringing perspective and healing in its wake.

Spiritual work is moment to moment and by no means easy but the load is lightened by laughter and the support of loving community who remind that judgment of self is as destructive as judgment of others. They help us know that we don't have to be perfect and that "baby" steps are good enough. The post office was another lesson offering and even though I "failed" I can be gentle with myself as future lessons are presented and meet the challenge the best I can.   

A PERSON

 

The message said

 

You have

 

Eight options to

 

Choose from

 

 

I press one

 

Then two, then three

 

Then back to one again

 

 

Then I hang up

 

I want to speak with

 

A person

 

 

The lack of personal connection in today's ultra tech world is very difficult for me. When I call a number and get a recorded message, options, then music while I am on hold, I become irritable. Then depending on the importance of the call, I hang on waiting for the next music or the statement "Your call is important to us".

 

With computer issues, sometimes I am outsourced to another country and have difficulty understanding what they are saying to me.

 

There must be a better way for business calls to be answered. I want to speak with a person and be able to understand them.  

 

 



The Work Habit

Eric's Post

The Work Habit

 

 

Work First

Get It Done

Feel the Sense of Accomplishment

 

The Work Habit

Is Ingrained in My Soul

And has Served Me Well

 

But Now in the Present

It Remains So Strong

That it Inhibits My Play and Leisure

 

It is Time

To Open that Soul

To New Ways of Living

 

When I was a boy I remember watching television and my father saying to me "Can't you do something constructive?" My father was a hard worker and especially in his later years, when he was not able to be as productive, he often languished over what he could no longer accomplish through his work. I have incorporated part of my father's work habit.It has helped me accomplish many things. Now approaching 70 years old, I look at modifying it and finding ways to bring more leisure and play in my life.



I'm making progress. It is a matter of consciously reminding myself that the work I have done is good enough for now. When I can feel that sense of satisfaction, I can enjoy my play and leisure.      



The Small Stuff

Lesley' Post (a different way of thinking about a similar issue) 

Most of us are familiar with the phrase "Don't sweat the small stuff" and know that it is probably good advice to follow.

Well! - a couple of weeks ago "the small stuff" arrived in our house in the form of an invasion of ants and not sweating the small stuff took on a whole new meaning. It was all out war and I raged against them, killing them with fury, feeling at times completely helpless against those tiny creatures that seemed to have taken over my world.

The owner of our regular exterminator company service had broken his foot  several weeks ago and has not been able to do the usual preventative spraying. The ants certainly took advantage of this window of opportunity.

To calm and refocus myself I tried a variety of psychological and spiritual thoughts  such as "may all beings live in equanimity free from attachment and aversion", "just kill them one at a time and don't get overwhelmed", "they are simply in the wrong place at the wrong time, don't mean any harm and will eventually go away", "the insect spray and ant houses will work" and "thou shalt not kill". But all to no avail. I was still completely unable to follow the Zen edict "make all mishaps into the path". My spiritual process was in shambles. I had been brought to my knees by ants. 

Finally I decided to take another direction and try to find some meaning in the symbolism of an ant invasion. Ants symbolize industriousness that is ordered and disciplined. They illustrate how persistence pays off and we can make our dreams into reality if we make a plan and stick with it.

So, how does this apply to our lives? Examining that question is where the study of symbolism becomes fascinating in its richness.

For some people who are struggling with motivation and getting their lives into gear, an invasion of ants might be inviting them to harness the disciplined, focused energy within themselves. They can see that just keep on keeping on one step at a time can really work. Every ant is a step and a whole community of ants can achieve amazing things. Invaded by "industriousness" can be a real wake-up call.

For a person like myself however, who tends to be overly busy, and not necessarily in a way that is for my highest good now, an invasion of ants takes on a whole different meaning. The ants are doing the right thing in the wrong place. There is nothing wrong with being industrious and bringing your dreams to fruition but at this time in my life I want to be much more discerning about how I spend my time and energy and that is a significant challenge currently. I want to make "soul choices" that will be different than the "soul choices" I made earlier in my life at another developmental phase. And I want those choices to be creative and joyful and not consumed by guilt ridden thoughts such as "I have not done enough of the necessary stuff".

And here is another twist for me. I want to attend to my "soul choices" with industry , persistence and discipline (bearing in mind that the word discipline is related to the word disciple and thus can encourage us to be followers of our own heart path). I can bring those aspects of myself that have served me well in the past to help me in my current phase as long as I am conscious in my choices each moment. It is so easy for me to get lost in the busyness of a strong work ethic and to internally tyrannize myself by the thought " you can play when the work in done" and for me play includes all those joyful creative processes.

But maybe there is another message to consider and that is the invitation to be still. Ants are constantly on the move and stillness is definitely not part of their life plan. Being invaded by the image of constant motion can remind me that I do not need to be constantly busy. Being still, to make space internally and externally, so that I can hear my inner voice and that of the Divine might be more of a heart choice.

The ant spray and the ant houses are working but I am still in process with the morning ritual of kill the ants and feed the dogs, followed by kill the ants and make the coffee, then kill the ants and have breakfast. Clearly this is a big message for me or the ants would be gone. I am paying attention.

At the same time I am grateful for the invasion with its message and am apologizing to the ants for the ongoing slaughter - sort of.

If I am really honest, I am very much looking forward to the arrival of the exterminator on Thursday.